Bars of Steel talks toxic masculinity, creative expression and finding community in foreign environments.
“[Growing up in Philly] I was happy. My dad worked a lot, my mom worked, and I had a little brother who was 5 years younger than me. I had friends on the block, friends in the hood, friends that came from nice circumstances and bad circumstances. . . I learned a lot. It taught me who to trust, who not to trust. That put me into a certain mentality that I had to get out of when I came to Wisconsin.”
Jason Hill, 21, is a poet and rap artist from South Philadelphia, PA. In 2021, Jason came to UW-Madison as a member of the 14th cohort of OMAI First Wave: a four-year scholarship program that allows student artists of diverse backgrounds to attend the University and develop their craft. Hill’s identity as a black, creative from Philly and the experiences it has led him to are two main sources of inspiration for his work.
“I remember, I was going through a certain tribulation in my life. I had a cousin that died and my dad brought me to his funeral and he was like ‘you see this kid? He was a good kid. And look at what you’re doing, bad shit, imagine what’s going to happen to you.’ and I was like damn . . . that kinda put me into a different headspace.” Jason shared that experiencing life without a filter established one of his biggest philosophies. “To celebrate both life and death. . . A lot of people forget about the stories [of those who are gone]. It’s our job as the people still around to keep telling them and keep giving those who have passed a voice because they can’t speak for themselves.”
Despite experiences such attending his cousin’s funeral being formative moments that made him the man he is today, Hill acknowledges that the mentality he needed to persevere has made it harder for him to open up emotionally. This challenge is one of several that the artist addresses through his music and poetry.
“When I was in high school, I almost got kicked out for selling drugs. Miss Kay, my poetry coach, she heard was going on. She saw me perform one year at a Black history concert for school and she was like ‘I see talent in this kid.’ So after that, she kind of helped me. She said ‘we're going to do something with you that's not bad.’She started having me do poetry. I would come to her poetry class every day after school because I was on punishment. My dad was like, ‘Well, if you’re going to be bad, you better be bad at poetry.’” After being introduced to slam poetry, Jason’s work was received well by his community. In 2019 he qualified to compete at Brave New Voices, a national poetry competition in Las Vegas, NV. He reflected on the moment he found out he qualified, identifying it as a pivotal moment in his life which led him to join First Wave and attend UW-Madison.
“First wave saved my life because I definitely probably would have been dead or in jail by now. But it also made me lose the most amount of myself I've ever had.” Slam poetry and hip hop music offered creative expression, but not without its own set of difficulties. In addition to needing to find a new community, opening up through writing meant deconstructing the tough emotional exterior Jason had built throughout his life. “I’ve heard a lot of people say that they care about men’s mental health,and it’s just a joke. . . I’ve been in a multitude of situations where I’ve expressed myself, where I’ve tried to talk whether it be musically or one-on-one or in a group. Then that shit will get thrown in my face and I’m just like ‘but y’all are the same people posting about how y’all care about black men killing themselves’”
In an institution with a less than 3% Black student body, spaces where Black men can feel safe to genuinely express themselves creatively are vital. Hill emphasized the need for institutions including UW-Madison to take more action against systems of oppression and issues that impact students on campus and beyond, such as disciplining students who utilize racials slurs and divesting from Palestinian Occupation. Programs like OMAI First Wave are a first step towards establishing these spaces on campus, but creating an academic environment where Black creatives can thrive is impossible without community.
“I remember when I first came out here and stuff, like it was just hard. Like, I remember I had a mental breakdown just because I felt so alone. It felt like everybody had like somebody. . . but I was only rapper, I was only n*gga. I would enter a space and feel the judgment . . . I would just walk around with so much hatred towards the world and like some hatred towards myself and just be confused as to where I belong, and it would make me feel like I have to drop out.”
In order to overcome the transition to his new environment, Jason, who goes by stage name Bars of Steel, found companionship in unlikely communities. “[Brave New Voices is] where I met Dia. I also met Marsha. And that's why I met Nyah. That's where I met a couple of people from the First Wave. And I'll never forget. The space was so crazy. . . . I love queer people, because they accept you. Like, they love everybody. And the fact that people don't like them, and people choose to stigmatize them is something that I've always found quite odd. Because when we went to Las Vegas, it was dudes dressing like girls, it was women with colorful armpit hair . . . It was like so much stuff that I've never seen before that if they were doing in Philly, they would probably get killed. And then I'm here just looking around and I'm talking to people and they're just so cool. They're telling me about their life experiences, their stories and everything and why they're here at Brave New Voices in Las Vegas and stuff. And it was just so, so interesting. So love-filled like I could tell them about myself. And like, they didn't judge. Like they didn't give a fuck about any flaw you had because they're like, bro, I’ve probably been through worse.”
When it comes to enduring and flourishing amidst challenging circumstances, Jason relies on his authenticity. “I feel like I'm one of the few people that try not to care about what people say and try not to really give a damn about masculinity, toxic masculinity. Like I am who I am comfortable with, if you have a problem with it just shut up.” Expressing yourself creatively means making yourself vulnerable to anyone who might come across your work. When asked to speak to others interested in starting a rap or slam poetry practice, Jason’s advice was clear. “Do the shit if you’re gonna do the shit. But, just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. And just because people applaud you for doing something doesn't mean it's good.” He added that many rappers start making music, and are led astray by creating an image that depicts a life inauthentic to their own. “A lot of it is glorifying things that I feel like we, as a society, have been trying to strive away from.” In order to maintain this authenticity in his music, Jason intentionally draws inspiration from his own experience when writing. “I try to write about street stuff, I try to write about what's going on, I try to write about life and death, I try to write about peace, positivity, prosperity, lust, envy, hate and jealousy. . . I know the work will pay off. And I know people will see what I'm talking about when the time comes.”
Looking to the future, Jason hopes to continue creating spaces for students like himself who find community and purpose in creative writing. “I want to do this scholarship at like 10 different schools, 20 different schools, HBCUs, PWIs, small schools, all this stuff like how [Christopher Walker] gave kids like me a chance to do something different.”
You can read my full interview with Jason Hill next week on theissueuw.com where we discuss more of his artistic process as well as life in Philly and in Madison. Keep an eye on our Instagram and Tik Tok accounts @theissueuw as well for a performance by Bars of Steel.
A SPECIAL THANKS TO THE PRODUCTION TEAM:
Director: Robyn George, Executive Editor (@robynmgeorge)
Photographer: Sidney Petersen, Special Events Director (@_sidneypetersen)
Styling Team: Ian Vailliencourt (@ianvailliencourt) and David Simeon (@dw.simeon)